Author: jpasnlkdsaldjsablj

Inadequate
Always seeking the light
From approvals broken flashlight
Where you received love I received like
Where I receive girlfriend you receive wife

It’s enough, right?
To be liked enough to stay with
But not loved enough to commit to
Broken

Pieces Shattered of myself with every missed call and ignored message
With every hug I watch and back pat I get

You’re not fat, you’re beautiful
But you’re wearing that?
You smell nice
But who are you trying to impress?
Speaking about feelings are like nails on a chalk board yes I saw you wince
Do I shut up and deal creating a void due to implode or do I “nag” bc communicating and feeling are too real and complacency becomes anger and torment

It started as a child feeling like I could never make my parents proud
Well, my dad said it, but what a role model
And now my partners are the reflection in his mirror
I’m the alarm that you keep hitting snooze on wanting to be heard but you’re angry when you do bc the wake up call was one press too late
That’s my mom in me trying yet again
My fault
Can’t break the cycle
Did you just break the drywall

Silence
Almost worse than yelling bc at least it felt like you cared
Drowning
In whatever substance numbs and makes it easier to sleep

Ah sleep
So peaceful right?
Bye bye day hello yet another restless night
Is this depression?
A health decline?
Or my body trying to tell me I’m wasting mine and someone else’s time?

Don’t let that be real
Don’t let that be fate
I wanna spend my life with you
But you thought about ending it the other day

Abandonment, My favorite
Hello again, dad
Back with that milk and cigarettes finally?
Begging for attention that you think I seek elsewhere
the problem child now the performer
Receiving validation in empty claps and compliments because it’s not you and with my heart in your pocket, I need you to clap too

Is it enough?
Maybe you’ll smile if I wear a disguise
If Real eyes realize real lies
Is it me lying to myself?
Or is it just me over thinking bc I feel
Inadequate

She’s crazy

She was once just a happy little girl, . But carelessly she was ripped away from the normality of guidance,
Forcing her mind to become clouded in the negativity of darkness,
Ruining her mentality, her personality, the ability to just live life comfortably.
She writes songs to secretly cope with the absence of love or friendship,
Her notebook overflows with the serenades of broken promises and make believe dreams she holds on to forever. Hoping one day they’ll actually happen.

An essay long checklist, branded and stamped in her brain , of nothing but descriptions that she routinely followed with strict instructions to alter her mind and body to fit into everyone’s so called fantoriycal idea of perfection.
She is constantly told or left to feel like she’s never enough, or she’s too much, just cares too much. A repeated cycle Everyday in her mind endlessly running all possibilities on how to become less or ways to pretend she doesn’t care. “Just bottle it up a little better” she says as she turned the top closed, struggling to not let even a drop out.

Her happiness comes from helping and doing for people without hesitations, for nothing in return but their happiness. But, no matter what amount of her all she gave, it was always too much.
The loyalty she holds could never be compared or matched, not even a little. She knows her kindness is just one of her best weaknesses so she pretends to be blind to the lies to protect the meaningful bond she enjoys, unfortunately no matter what is done to her.

So her uncontrollable emotions, are just fed up reactions to the actions done by others which makes her out to be the problem.

Her heart, shattered to pieces scattered everywhere just like a broken glass mirror that had been thrown on tile floors.

Sweeping up a pile, She looks at herself in the shards, only to be staring at her smiling miniature reflection who immediately and magically bonded the pieces perfectly together, like a completed puzzle, making it stronger than it ever was before.

Society may have crushed her but the eventful chapters in life, especially the more intense ones, only stitched and patched the cuts, transforming her to be indestructible in order to raise her little girl alone. to give her the universe to live effortlessly and independently without any fear. Giving that sweet baby a life of dreams turned into a reality of endless possibilities and opportunities. Everything she prayed for as a little girl, eventually to heal her inner child’s soul that was abandoned and hopeless.

But she’s crazy right?

There are so many things
That I wish I could say to you.
I feel like I should start
By thanking you from my point of view.

The first thing I’d like to thank you for
Is showing him how to trust someone.
I can’t imagine the struggles that came with
When it comes to a person who questions
everybody’s intentions one by one.

With the patience you possessed through that
You showed him the virtue of being patient.
It’s because of this and you
That he always knows how to keep me calm no
matter what the situation.

Thank you for showing him people can be
genuine
And always being a woman of your word.
You reminded him that despite someone’s
words,
It’s their actions that should never be ignored.

You gave him the gift of loyalty
And you never gave up on him.
And when you had no choice but to leave,
He showed you the definition of “through
thick and thin”

You both made a commitment together
And kept it until that early end.
Thank you for being the example
Of not just a wife, but a best friend.

You two took care of each other,
Even in the moments when it was hard.
It was really through sickness and health,
I know you and I both hate the ways it’s left him
scarred.

You gave him such a selfless love,
One he will remember everyday.
Please know through him you live on,
And that the love you shared still lives in his
heart and will never go away.

Since you know how grateful I am now,
I’d like to make some promises to you.
Through words not just to be said,
But through actions that will make these words
true.

First, I promise to never try to replace you.
That’s something I would never want.
I never want him to forget you
And I’m happy it’s with you that I get to share
his heart.

His life’s been hard without you, he’s had his
slips
But I promise to help him be the man we both
know he can be.
Together we’ll face struggles and success will
come at a cost
But I promise to never let him forget that my
love will always be free.

I know love won’t be enough to save him from
life,
But I promise he’s already somebody I’ll always
protect
He’s always there to rescue me,
So it’s important I remind him how he makes
me feel blessed.

I promise to love him the way he deserves,
Despite the false hope others have given.
He holds my entire heart in his bare hands
And a future has become something we both
envision.

I will love him forever, day in and day out.
I promise to be a woman he’s proud to call his
wife
The kind of woman he knows you’d even be
proud
Of knowing it’s me that he’s with to share his
life.

I’m sorry your time was cut short
But to him you were a beautiful treasure.
And it’s because I know that about him,
That my last promise to you is to make sure he
knows that we’ll both love him forever.

Thank you Melissa.

---

Background: I wrote this poem to my boyfriends wife. She unfortunately passed away due to cancer a few years ago and he was left behind to mourn the loss of his wife. I can’t imagine the pain he felt during that time and I wish he didn’t have to carry that pain because I see the love they shared by the way his face lights up when he speaks of her. It’s honestly my favorite time to look at him because it’s almost as if this aura just goes around him full of just so much love. I did not have the fortune of knowing her, but I do have the blessing of knowing RJ. Because of the way he so patiently and delicately loves me, I am grateful that I have him and I acknowledge she is who taught him how to love me in the ways that he does. For that, I am so incredibly grateful that he was blessed to have had a woman like her as a partner. Their loyalty and strength gives me such hope as to what we are building ourselves and I love that it’s by again, a woman like her, that he was so fortunately loved. I will hold true to my promise to her to keep him safe and always make sure he knows how deeply he is loved by not just myself, but by her as well. Hopefully she looks down and knows how grateful I am for the love I receive each day from him because of the love that came from her and that I’ll make sure she is never forgotten. RIP Melissa.
I love you honey. If you ever forget, read this as a remind of much I do.

Frosty whispers
A cold feeling of drought
Frosty whispers
Not even warmness to be thought
Frosty whispers
On the wind
Frosty whispers
A chill that seeps beneath the skin
Frosty whispers
Winters breath so cold and clear
Frosty whispers
A silent song for all to hear

There are breaks ahead,
But they are one week instead
Easter is coming so bunnies are running,
Thunder in the sky, hovers like a fly

Rarely a squirt of water
Nothing else matters
Because it’s just another pattern
When you think of summer do you think of red?
That’s because it’s blazing hot weather ahead,

Leaves crunch beneath our feet
Autumn’s colors so bittersweet
School comes again
Upcoming stress,
Don’t run.
A new year has come once again

With tend’rest adjurations
I bid thee sweetest words
Com’st thou not to me dripping
Mocking my desire with dour Insipidity

Such be thy saccharine ways of trickery
When we the broken mortals
Wrest and quench creations dream
To leave it fallow laying dieing

In the charnel house of lies.

I hear your whispers
In the rustling leaves in fall
I hear your voice
In the sound of falling snow

I watch and see the shimmer
Of your face in the dancing tides
When the waters are still
Meeting mingling balanced in the dawn.

Come now walk with me
Teach me the ways, hidden
and obscure
Lest I fall and crash again
On sharpened stones of arrogance.

To close to the fire I flew
Of that presumptuous Sun
Then broken crashed with melted waxen wings
On sharpened jagged stones

Poisoned by my self destruction
I lost my self my soul the Words
And thus for a blinded time
I in pity wept and cried in pride

Now now I ask for your return
That from your challice I might sip
And rest in Prometheus’ gift.

Known by Janae Wrighten (12th)

I am called observant and outspoken
I wonder about the future. 
I hear the silent tears. 
I want it to stop.
I am called observant and outspoken.

I pretend it isn’t happening. 
I feel so much pain and hurt
I touch my heart every night, and pray
While others are up continuing to play
I worry about my life.

I cry that I won’t make it and just die.
I am called observant and outspoken

I understand the silence. 
I say what cannot be said. 
I dream that this will change. 
I hope you will understand. 
I am called observant and outspoken.
  

---

 


Broken by Janae Wrighten

I used to dream about not being heard but now
I am out of the herd because I didn’t fit in.  so 
twisted in my mind, in my thoughts I forgot.
What it felt like to be me. They say speak when. 
Your told to be spoken to, but not everyone has a voice 
Or at least is aware that they do, you scream and shout, you
Pout and pout but no one even cares to hear your calling out
Realize by Janae Wrighten
I am patient and aware 
I wonder if you are
I hear the voices
I see the pain 
I want you to realize it want last as long 
as you continue to stay from the past
I am patient and aware
 

---

 

Number 84009 by Marquarius Lyde (12th)

Number 84009
Replaces a name
Not a mind
Dehumanization
Survival of a Genocide
Monsters and heroes
Show their face
Some risk their lives
For God’s grace
As the world grows colder
The people need a light
To restore their might
So they may rise up and fight
The Nazi’s spread like an infection
Broken into sections.
Families ripped apart.
Bloody mess
Like a disturbing work of art
To many lives lost
Without a grave
But I will remember.
I will say your name.
You will live in my heart.
For all time
Number 84009
 

---

 

Profile by Diontre Henry (12th)

You treat us like dogs. 
Then put us in the pound.
After being beaten and hosed
 We’re left in the ground.
 
Do you think your mother would be proud?
Of the damage you’ve done 
To a specific-colored crowd

We were put on this earth
To live life just like you
But instead, you spit us out 
Like the gum you chew

Now I’m sitting here looking at my brother’s eyes.
Wondering who’s the next one to die.

All we want is to be treated as equals.
But apparently everything we do is illegal. 

When we look at the new generation
We showed them how.
 We had to act with no hesitation. 

Back then you used to call us niggers.
But now when you look at us.
All you do is pull the trigger.

Thanks to a brave woman who said the passionate words
I refuse
Some think were rarely physically abused

No more of being divided and separated in groups.       
Because if divided 
We’ll be gone in one big swoop.

We’ve come a long way from what we used to be.
And now we’re one big family.

But the pain still kept us in a chain.
Slowly watching the blood of freedom drain

So after all these years of hearing No
White people continue to mess up our mental flow.

I told my family I’ll never catch a case.
That my future would be bright in my face 
But it seems the only reward I get is mace

So please tell me why do I have to remain silent 
if you always gonna think a black kid is violent.
 

---

 

War Zone by Jaylen Allison (9th)

I am curious and intelligent.
I wonder why people fight in wars.
I hear gunshots and explosions.
I see death and destruction.
I want to help, but don’t know how.
I am curious and intelligent.

I pretend to be a hero.
I feel empathy.
It touches my heart to see their pain.
I worry about humanity and cry out for change.
I am curious and intelligent.
I understand their fight.
I scream STOP.
I dream of peace and freedom.
I try to erase it from my mind.
I hope for God to give us grace.
I am curious and intelligent.
 

---

 

Love’s Obsession by Natalie Young (12th)

I am obsessed with you.
I wonder what you do every moment.
I hear your voice and fall a little harder.
I see you and have faith.
I want you forever.
I am obsessed with you.

I pretend you are next to me where I lay.
I feel everywhere you kissed.
I worry if you still feel this way.
I cry at the thought of good-by someday.
I am obsessed with you.

I understand we live in different worlds
I say I am willing to learn.
I dream of our future.
I try to live in the present, but love won’t let me be.
I hope we last forever
I am obsessed with you.
 

---

 

My Dream by Daejon Evans (12th)

I used to dream about being someone I’m not.
But now I dream of being me.
Because I’m here for a reason.

Do I know what I’m here for?
No
No one taught me.
No one told me.
But I am worthy.
I am strong.
I used to dream about being someone I’m not
But now I dream of being me

Only time tells the future.
Does it move slow?
Yes.
We don’t know the end or where it starts.
Make the best with what I got.

I used to dream about being someone I’m not
But now I dream of being me.
 

---

 

My Mother by Niarobe Davis (12th)

I used to dream about having two parents in my life
At least one
To love me and tuck me in at night

I felt an aching pain in my heart
But when my dream came true
You hurt me
You broke me
You dug deep
Too deep
It left a hole

Nothing hurts more
Than a nonexistent father
A mother that used me

Abused me
Hateful words

Never listening to my cries
Never sorry for all the lies

I think to myself
What did I do?
To never get any love from you

I pretend to smile.
I imagine a new life.
A mother,
Who would protect me and hold me tight.
A love to cherish.
Throughout my life.
 

---

 

Voiceless by Olivia Salvaggo (10th)

I am quiet and invisible.
I wonder why.
I hear a song.
I see warm hands.
I want perfection.
I am quiet and invisible.

I pretend to be someone else.
I feel empty inside.
I touch velvet.
I worry for myself.
I cry inside.
I am quiet and invisible.
I understand troubles.
I say I don’t care.
I dream about creating.
I try to understand.
I hope it gets better.
I am quiet and invisible.
 

---

 

Wishes by Dalila Van Buren (10th)

I used to dream about the trees.
But now I dream about dandelions.
Because they dance in the wind.
 

---

 

Abuse by Makhi Davis (12th)

Abuse is a big thing in life,
People fail to see.
Abuse could be from anybody.
Could affect you and me.
People think you can get away,
But escape is not so,
It’s a generational problem.
More than a physical thing.
It’s mental,
It’s verbal,
A trauma unhinged.
It kills over 15 million children a year.
It’s time to change.
 

---

 

Amore by Yeny Morales (10th)

Soy muy curiosa y sentimental.
Me pregunto Como Seria en uno ten anos mastarde
Escucho tantas cosas pero na todo es bueno
Veo a las persona y me pregunto questaran pensanda.
Deseo muchas cosas peie mi mayoldeseoes que las personas amore.
Yo soy muy curiosa y sentimental
Translation
I am curious and sentimental.
I wonder how it will be ten years later.
I listen to so many things, but nothing is all good
I look at people and wonder what they were thinking.
I want many things but my biggest desire is that people love me.
I am curious and sentimental.
 

---

 

Determined by Tre Wilson (10th)

I am intelligent and dedicated.
I wonder how to succeed.
I her motivation
I see myself in the lead.
I want to be a sensation.
I am intelligent and dedicated.

I pretend to be naïve.
I feel envied.
I touch freedom.
I worry if I’m the best I can be.
I cry appreciation.
I am intelligent and dedicated.

I understand responsibility.
I say nothing.
I dream of success.
I try to be someone.
I hope for the best.
I am intelligent and dedicated.
 

---

 

Fantasies by Tacora Alston (12th)

I used to dream about Fairytales.
But now I have no dreams.
Because others don’t see what I see.
 

---

 

Better by Tacora Alston

I am focused and kind
I wonder what everyone else sees.
I hear the voices in my head.
I see emotions running through minds.
I am focused and kind.

I pretend not to hear others.
I feel alone with no one by my side.
I touch my skin and it is cold.
I worry about shutting down.
I cry myself to sleep.
I am silent inside.

I understand different moments in time.
I say let’s freeze them forever, so it won’t be on my mind.
I worry about making a better life.
I try to see all the soft edges.
I hope it happens someday.
I am a thinker.
 

---

 

Dreams by Braxton Fludd (12th)

As I sit in my room
I dream to escape reality.
From a life riddled with pain.
I grow with the pain that sits with me.
Give a smile to hide my sadness.
Push it deep down.
So only God can see.
 

---

 

El Mundo (The World) by Josue Hernandez (12th)

Soy sabia
Me pregunto cambia todo el mundo mas
Escucho el silencio de noche
veo una vision de paz
Deseo un Paz de el mondo
Yo soy orgulloso
Yo pretendo ser Sordo.
Silento que un dia tendremos un dia de Juicia.
Yo toco mi corazon
Me preocupa si abandono este mondo sin mi logro.
Lloro por coraje.
Yo soy orgulloso.

Entiendo que el mundo no es Perfecto
Yo digo a mi mismo si todario estoy vivo.
Yo sueno con un mundo de felicidad y un mundo Perficico.
Lo intento ser perfecto, pera recuerdo que el mundo real no lo es.
Espero que algun dia me vaya con mis metas por completo
Yo soy orgulloso.

Translation
I am wise.
I wonder does the whole world change anymore.
I hear the silence at night.
I see a vision of peace.
I wish for peace in the world
I am proud.

I pretend to be Deaf.
Silent that one day we will have a day of Judgment.
I touch my heart.
I worry if I leave this world without my achievement.
I cry for courage.
I am proud.

I understand that the world is not perfect.
I say to myself if I’m still alive.
I dream of a world of happiness a Paradise.
I try to be perfect, but I remember that the real world is not.
I hope one day I will reach my goals.
I am proud.
 

---

 

The World by Alaysha Hill (12th)

The world is coming to an end.
I’m just a black African American
Try’na get to the bag
But the corruption
Gets in the way.
All they do is hate and brag.

I start to say F- this world
This shit is just sad.
But not all our people are bad.

Some understand pain.
Some work hard and are dedicated to change.

Some help people reach their goals.
People who struggle every day.

The system is broken.
They’d rather see us struggle.
Then lend a hand.

They have the power.
We should stand as one.

Murder, guns, and drugs equal death.
Boom!
They pull out guns.
One shot.
Two shots.

We need to be united.
Not kill’n our people for fun.
Like that’s a sin
What should we expect from a world that’s corrupt?

 

---

 

Dreamer by Albert Smalls (12th)

I am a caring person and a dreamer
I wonder what life will truly be
In many years to come.
I hear my thoughts racing in my head
I should
I shouldn’t
Do this or that!
I see better days ahead.
I want a better life
To have a better understanding
I am a caring person and a dreamer

A patriot in a bulletproof vest

Asian tigress,
and a brave Kazakh kitty,

purrs quietly sneak up,
meanwhile fear of enemies
as the holiday approaches.

Body armor factory
fragile girl built
national glory and honor
You, Madina, deserve it.

---

Volunteer veterans

A battalion is born
from former police officers,
wear a chevron
take the patch and medallion.

Training ahead
blood, sweat, and loss,
shame, I’m in a warm bed.

---

As small children, we played war

Wooden bow, arrows, and gun
the knife is near a belt,
once, our childhood was full of fun.

We ran through the fields
with a village’s neighbor
taking a sword, a painted shield
without adult worries and labor.

Time has passed
harsh life befell our fate,
Russian missile strikes are mass,
the heart cherishes pain, I hate…

---

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Vyacheslav Konoval is a Ukrainian poet whose work is devoted to the most pressing social problems of our time, such as poverty, ecology, relations between the people and the government, and war.
His poems have appeared in many magazines, including Anarchy Anthology Archive, International Poetry Anthology, Literary Waves Publishing, Sparks of Kaliopa, Reach of the Song 2022, Diogenes for Culture Journal, «Scars of my heart from the war», «Poetry for Ukraine», «Rhyming», «La page Blanche», Norwich University research center, «Impakter», «Military Review», «The Lit», «Allegro», «Innisfree poetry journal»,«Atunes Galaxy Poetry», «Ekscentrika», «Mere Inkling», «EgoPhobia», «Fulcrum», «Omnibus», «Adirondack Center for Writing», «Lothlorien Poetry Journal», Revista Literaria «Taller Igitur», «Tarot Poetry Journal», «Tiny Seed Literature Journal», «Best American Poetry Blog», «Quilled Ink Review», «Chronograph Poetry Journal», the Appalachian Journal «Dark Horse», «Agape», «Mascara Literary Review», «Gray Sparrow», «ArLJo», «Ekstasis», «The Bloom Litarery Journal».
Vyacheslav’s poems were translated into Spanish, French, Scottish, and Polish languages.
His poems also have been read at meetings of various poetry groups, including Newman Poetry Group, Never Talk Innocence, Voicing Art Poetry Reading for Ukraine, Worcester County Poetry, Brussels Writer’s Circle, and Poets Anonymous May Middle-Met, Brett Show by Andrea, the Manx Bard group, Allinghman Art Festival, Versopolis Poetry Expo 2023, poetry readings «Poetry of Struggle and Solidarity»,
«Poetic Voices».
He is a member of the Geer Poetry Group (Wales) and a member of the Federation of Scottish Writers.

fall free
my soul climbs
to heights
beyond all time
to space so small
constricted
tightly to a point
my soul churns
til dawn
waging war
fighting
dim grey words
for truth
my soul knows
no sleep or sound
my soul knows no sleep
as it seeks
its hope
my soul will not sleep

People always ask “how are you?”
But why do they even ask,
Why do people pretend the lie “good” is the
truth
When every morning we all just wear a
mask?

Why do they act like they care at all?
We all know everybody’s just for themself.
Cuz when we scream for their help,
That’s when they’re suddenly deaf.

What’s worse is we know it’s one sided
And that their love is just fake.
We know no matter how much we give them
All they’ll ever end up being is a mistake.

We know no matter how much love we give
them,
We’ll never get what we give back.
They’ll never give us any relief,
Instead they leave us when we’re under
attack.

Maybe that’s just our purpose,
Maybe it’s why we’re here.
Maybe it’s the simple cruel fact,
That I never feel real love out of fear.

Here in these words lie the emotions I’ve felt my entire life. The fear of being pushed away by the ones you love, but the reality of being the one running from being loved. This is me holding myself accountable for my self destructive tendencies. Maybe it’s really me.