Category: poems

There you are, elevated on stage with the spotlight beaming down, illuminating the hairs standing up in your cowlick. Your right hand nervously cupping the microphone while you search for your content on your phone.
Where is the file
Which one should I read
Why does my phone keep locking??!!

You can’t see me- the lights in your eyes are so bright you feel you are performing in front of a black hole but you can hear the sound of my breathing, you can smell the perspiration leaking from my pores and you know I am there… waiting.

You find the stanza and nervously apologize to the black hole for making it wait, asking it silently to avoid swallowing you whole for just one more minute. As you begin to read, you find your voice shaky and the words that you wrote seemed to come from a stranger as you trip over the alliteration, trying to find the rhythm that was there at its inception.

I am now squirming in my chair. I know you can’t see me but I am holding my breath to give it to you. My sweat becomes your sweat and my heartbeat tunes to the pulsing of yours as I try to give you every ounce of calm I can offer- as if my life depends on it too.

BECAUSE IT DOES! If you fail, I fail! If you stutter and spit as you try to get the words out the way they came from your heart when you wrote them down then I am falling off that cliff too…

Second hand embarrassment- like second hand smoke- enters my lungs when you breathe it out of yours.
Just as potent, just as toxic.

I avert my eyes to my phone, scrolling through my newsfeed hoping to lessen my discomfort and to break the soul connection we have established. It doesn’t work. I can still smell your anguish coming from your armpits and hear the frightened child in your voice.

What more can I do?

I can listen to your heart
I can snap to show I hear
I can breathe until you are able to breathe on your own.
For in this moment- we are one.

As the early sunrise begins
The dew on her face glistens
She absorbs the drops with haste
Blooming, slightly, to praise God for another chance
God smiles knowing the burden on her heart
“It hurts but you are growing, my daughter.
You are different, but that’s your uniqueness!
The moment you embrace it, you will bloom.”

A dew glides down one petal; onto a leaf,
the dew continues to flow until it falls off.
an invisible force catches it and raise it.
“I know what your dew is due to…”
the force vanish, leaving a slight splash onto the soil.

“Your pain is not you. You will find a true green thumb one day, until then tend to yourself.
One already had a garden,
One didn’t want to admit they were mesmerized by you; need to learn how to love fully,
and that One,
just needed your energy to love himself,
you need One to love you as much as you give and respect what he found.
Don’t hide your dew because others aren’t strong enough to understand.
I understand, you understand, and One will one day tend to you.”

She absorbs the drops with haste,
Blooming slightly to praise God for another chance.

his eyes were like honey, rich and dazzling. I saw cracks of sunlight peeking through his irises, like the breaking of dawn shining light into the darkest part of my soul. but then, they were deep like the forest at night, and I got lost in his forest. im not sure I’ll make it back out either.
his kisses didn’t just make marks on my lips but indents on my soul, never to be replaced by another. and ever since he left, the indents get deeper by the day with intentions to absolutely break me.
his hands left traces along my body that at the time burned like fire, but now are numb when I run my own hands in the place of his.

I conform to society’s views.

I allow my emotions to dictate my destiny.

Sex is no longer a stimulant.

I drift further from the pursuit of happiness.

I distance myself from my loved ones.

Shame and I are engaged to be married.

I have cold feet while she’s content.

I don’t want to be here.

Running away is my only option.

Soft spoken and poised
Your voice cuts through the noise
The crowds a blur
I’m hanging on your every word
Filling my mind’s stanzas
Similar to seats in an arena
Between us there’s chemistry
A window into each other’s mystery
Might’ve seen her before
On a crowded street I’m sure
Walking past a diner
Watching as she turned the corner
Standing in the doorway
I just let her slip away
I should’ve done something
I shied away from saying anything
Now we’re here again
Catching up like long lost friends
God’s timing is perfect
Letting go is my only regret

Boardwalk…

                                   Street guitarist…
                                   Skate park…
                                   Graffiti artist…
      Thinking back to the days when we were young.
                 She and I were teenagers on the run.
                  Indebted to boredom and curfew
                nature would have us break the rules.
            We had each other nothing else mattered.
                                    Go-karts…
                                    Checkered flag…
                                    Dark room…
                                    Laser tag…
     Too cool for school we got caught playing hooky.
     Scared straight we were threatened with truancy.
                       She had become a nuisance.
                    They said I was a bad influence.
            Through you I found the fountain of youth.
                                  Funnel cake…
                                  Cotton candy…
                                  Center stage…
                                  Bearded lady…
            You give me the shakes like a tambourine.
            She’s on her feet saying, ” Dance with me!”
                           The night is still young.
        Glory’s ours we’ll bloom when morning comes.
                      Tomorrow’s a new destination
                             who knows whereto?

image

If the man in the mirror 
Doesn’t look towards
The one who made
The man and the mirror

He’ll never understand
The man or the mirror
For the mirror is a man
But the man is not the mirror

And so it goes
That he looks without noting
Admiring a man
While ignoring his quoting

For what will he gain
By loving this face
But a bag full of wrinkles
When he finishes his race

Was it the man
Or was it the mirror
Who refused to reflect
And make these things clearer

“Hamilton’s Daughter” by J. A. Carlos

The gaze I set upon your face.
The way I wish for your embrace.
The best of joy for you I pray,
I hope to give more some day

If nature wishes you my way
My arms will keep you, tenderly
Of purest heart, and soundest mind
My dearest angel, will you be mine?

“Mary Shelly’s Moth” By J. A. Carlos

Before my breath,
in cold delight
Sits the girl as dark as night
In peckish heat,
and tender light
I feel her lips pressed on mine
If sparks did fly
they had resigned
The pitch fork broke
Our sacred hope,
The people spoke
And hate my kind
the ones who love,
no matter why.

“The destiny of a lonely writer” by J. A. Carlos

If I knew I’d die at the end
I’d cry at the end
I’d die for my sin
At the end of a pen
Would I try it again?
Devise it again?
Revise the way it ends
or leave it just the way it is?
Well I’d be lying if I said:
“I’d change it all again
I’d be a different man
And make it right all in the end”
Cause I’m as sick as they can get
I will never ever quit
I will burn them at the stick
And laugh while screaming to the pit.

“The Mindhunter’s Doctor” by J. A. Carlos

Dear missis Alison
I am writing you this letter
In the hopes that you feel better
I heard you quit your job forever
For what I said back in December
And I hope you know I never
Would’ve wished this for you ever

I forgot to call you doctor
But it in pen so I’ll keep onward
Please come back and take my offer
I won’t touch you or be awkward
I won’t romance or speak improper
So could you please still be my doctor

Sincerely yours,
Patient 37

She was god
Tsunamis flowers while she walked
gentle touch
through the heart
what made you king of the galaxy.

So broken heaven in the paddles
in her life with my dreams made the love
Pure and beautiful
was everything else.

Smile, laugh, and kisses
in the repeat shuffle.

She was happy so we broke
her husband didn’t want to divorce
anymore

Hell
Would be known as fairy tale
for ten years she gave me hope
and never chance
like a catfish
Collect those poems as trophies go
,,oh dear I love you more.,,

Well played honey bee
Sucks his dick like it was me
She saved the whole family

Clap the hands I meet a Brooke
She made her trash with every look

The wheel turned a little bit
They’re in hell and I’m free

Walk away pretend I don’t exist.
Don’t acknowledge my presence.
Deny chemistry ever happened
as if we were never friends.

Ignore text messages and phone calls
I’ll regret the pain I caused.
Wait for her to come around;
have faith though it’s been a while.

Pray to God ask for a sign…

Walk away pretend he doesn’t exist.
Don’t acknowledge his presence.
Deny chemistry ever happened
as if she’s not with him.

Despise him and her holding hands.
Scoff at their wedding bands.
Wait for her to come around;
have faith though it’s been a while.

Keep holding on for dear life…


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